![my secret identity is a secret my secret identity is a secret](https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/kanan-jarrus-s3_94b2ce6e.jpeg)
I was too ashamed and afraid of judgment. I never wanted my learning disability to become a part of my identity. Many struggle in some way to accept a part of who they are, whether it’s disability, mental illness, or sexuality. However, I still kept my secret hidden from my classmates under heaps of hard work I did behind the scenes. I even convinced my teachers to let me take an honors class as a freshman. I seized the opportunity to succeed on my own. No way could I face the humiliation! The beauty of becoming a high schooler was that Special Education did not make assumptions and place me in lower level classes. I kept my condition top-secret by laying low throughout elementary and middle school. It’s safe to say I have changed significantly. If I couldn’t avoid special education, how was I going to stop my classmates from wondering where I went everyday or worse, prevent them from coming to the conclusion there was something wrong with me? The only thing that seemed to be within my reach was to never let on or tell anyone I had dyslexia. I pleaded with my parents and teachers, but it was no use. I wanted to believe I was no different from my peers, but I knew why I had to leave. Soon I began to leave class regularly to learn the fundamentals that seemed to come so quickly to everyone else. Just weeks before, I had been escorted out of my classroom for the first time to be tested for dyslexia. The embarrassment I felt was unnerving as heads turned to watch my special educator lead me out of class. Choking my tears back, I looked up to find her in the doorway. As I sat with fearful anticipation, tears flooded my eyes, blurring my vision until Clifford the big red dog became a big red smudge. To my seven year-old self, nothing was more foreboding than this “silent reading time”. All the while I kept my head down, focused on the words, and paced myself to the rhythm of page turning set by my classmates, who could actually read, in case anyone was watching.
![my secret identity is a secret my secret identity is a secret](https://thenerdygirlexpress.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/capturemysecretidentity.png)
I restlessly skimmed the pictures in a Clifford the Big Red Dog book, typical of me during independent reading. “It’s okay! Just breathe!” I said to myself in an attempt to suppress my unfaltering anxiety.
![my secret identity is a secret my secret identity is a secret](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/sdkf_6.png)
If this sounds like you, then please share your story. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.